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Captains log

Star date:5-36-2028

The moon is a nice place to call home(according to the moons inhabitants). I'm pretty sure the lack of an atmosphere and reliance on earth would be terrifying. The earth isn't quite as green as I remember from this distance. Sangiomi is stealing all of the ships supplies; I fear we may have to kill him in order to prosper. We may simply choose to abandon him on this cold dark mass. It has been 45 days since the last invasion. I intend to make it to mars before the day is out.
My imaginary/ real but delusional relationship with a spaniard has become slightly more legitamate. Exchanging of word like I will see you in Spain and your mine no matter what happens over the next few months in austrailia/ thiland. It's all so disgustingly romantic and exciting, it's like out of some romance novel I think, or a dream. All I know is it's all I can think about which is bizarre considering how much is going on. My head is spinning with movie references. Today I went out to a beautiful stream and stripped down to my underwear with two of my best friends and forged the river. We walked through the water until our feet bleed, and then we found the most amazing natural jacuzzi. After leaving the river we discovered that we were covered in leeches, which didn't matter in the slightest. Who even knew what a leech looked like until today, which I must say they aren't as scary as they sound. We ate at this romantic little organic vegan pasta place and just enjoyed each others company. Every summer just seems to get more amazing. I find my lungs gasping for time.

Stupid thing I'm super excited about

So for years I've wanted to be able to do French braids or find someone willing to do them in my hair on a frequent basis. After all this time I finally figured it out! Super stupid, but I'm excited. I did two of them and combined them at the back of my head and my statistics teacher asked me if I had gone to get my hair done professionally lol. French braids and rompers with floral patterns, I get to basically wear what I would have liked to wear when I was 5, oh fashion is silly. I'm also so happy that it's world cup time, it's the only sport I can feel really passionate about. I hope Germany gets as far as possible, they seriously destroyed austrailia. School needs to be over, I feel like I've been doing this forever. I just want to not live in new jersey anymore. I can't stand the culture and lifestyle of the place. No one here understands that I need something different to thrive. What really gets me is that everyone in this state has the worst taste in music humanly possible.

Jun. 10th, 2010

My heart is about to jump out my throat, I am going to madrid in march. I must be going insane, it's okay with me though.
On friday I fell in love with a boy from Cadiz in the moonlight, on satuday I couldn't stop smiling, on sunday I could not stop thinking of him, on Monday he wrote me an email to the address I had scribbled inside his passport, on Tuesday I will see him again and on wenesday he'll be on the other side of the earth. I can't decide if it's better this way. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loving at all? I didn't think I could ever feel this strongly this fast. Spanish lovers and summer nights are the perfect cocktail for heartbreak

Feb. 17th, 2010

we are the kids that scare you because we do what we want to, not what you told us to.

playing the victim

The way I see it, life provides you with a lot of options and playing the victim is never the one to choose. You walk through life with the horrible things that have happened to you. You can choose to let them own you or own your own life. Horrible things happen to every person you pass on the street. Terrible unspeakable things that at a young age they decide to keep inside. If you play the victim you’ll never see how beautiful life is. I’m not saying that I’m perfect, but I’m sure a lot happier than I used to be.

Jan. 6th, 2010

I hate it when some of your friends start acting like complete douche bags. The solution is always to just delete their phone numbers and start hanging out with other people, but it fucking sucks. Especially when they owe you lots and lots of money. I just am so annoyed, you give and give and some people take and take. Some people pretend to give and give but those are the biggest takers. I move on, again.
I am so tired my eyes are burning, must press on. It's all my fault for developing a really fucked up sleep schedule. Wake up at 11am go to sleep at 3 am. BAD when you have to start coming in at 8, good for parties. It's give and take.

Holidays are stressful, too much shit to do and everyone is especially ornery. I think it's funny when people tell you what others are doing when you dont even ask. Awesome to hear people are going to germany with each other, how sweet, don't fucking care. I need sleep so I am just in such a bad mood. I have to stay awake though, must meet with father. My stomach is so sour I just don't know what to do. I have to start being nicer to it or else things arent going to end well. I need to have an iv of fluid all day because I really just fucking hate water. I would drink beer al day if I could but it looks like Im moving towards gastritis or something so that shit wont fly. Very excited about christmas simply because I think I will be getting some kick ass roller derby skates. This would be the man though, really. I plan on skating as much as humanly possible, and hopefully some skiing. That's the good thing about hanging out with hippys, they love their outdoors. The bad thing, the smell... haha no just kidding, it's never too bad.
I'm so confused right now, I cant even figure out with boy I like or something. Things should be easier. Tonight Im going rollerskating which should be an awesome way to work out getting my head strait, I hope. It's easy to like the boy that likes you. I spend too much time talking to these boys, they listen so well though. sitting up in college dorms until the next day comes. The truth of it is it's so easy to connect to people, I love doing it but I really hope this time I don't hurt anyone.